MARK
"I don't know if this is a more mature album. I think it's a more advanced album. We definitely have some songs on here that do not have any maturity in them at all. Then we have some that are about... all the same subjects we've always talked about. It's about relationships with family and girls and friends and life and divorce, being young and going to a party and trashing your friend's house. I think that we've just gotten better as songwriters and lyricists, so I don't think it's more mature."
"Hi Mom, Its Mark again... NO its not getting any better... They made me put a cucumber down my pants... No they weren't laughing with me they were laughing at me... you just don't understand, put dad on... Dad, its Mark... NO its not getting any better... say hi to grammy for me."
"Hey Mom, Its Mark... *starts to weep* I wanna come home. I've been here two days, I can't dance like the other kids"
"Hard work, studying, and perserverance will get you no where in life.....it's all about kissing ass"
"However... the prognosis of Tom's canker sore is pretty much the same as the prognosis about his penis. It's not the biggest one Dr. Bruce has seen but it's the placement of it that bothers him."
"Tom likes to stick small pieces of furniture up his ass"
"Sometimes me and Tom will just go out to dinner, come back to my place, put on some light music, have a glass of wine and just talk, you know?"
"I'm a pisces which means I'm very sexy."
"Tom is making love with men.....right now."
"I wanna go out and cause a scene in the street."
"Yeah, I'd like to share his bunk tonight."
"I masturbated like 5 times in the last 24 hours, it hurts, i think it's gonna fall off"
"Nothing's uglier or stupider looking than a naked guy, and making a video out of that was a little uncomfortable and fun at the same time."
"It won't be [released by us], 'cause I honestly don't want people to see me naked. We'll lose our entire fan base! Especially when I do a cartwheel in front of the camera and I'm totally naked -- the whole package is just really rotten looking."
"If you dropped your keys you would bend over too"
"......So go jack off and fuck something!"
"Tom! Get out here you fucker!"
"Okay, someone didn't wear deodorant today!"
"My lady did my nails.....they even have sparkles, see?"
"Take it from me because I learned the hard way: circumcisions are best left to professionals."
"I'm not a whore, I don't have sex with girls that I'm not in love with, but I've been known to partake of the occasional hookup and what-have-you."
"I try not to judge people or talk sh*t about anyone except the other guys in my band."
"I think age is just a stupid number."
"We want people to take care of thier butts, because we have to make sure they're clean."
"182 has no signifigance. We just pulled it outta our ass"
"The biggest compliment of all is a kid saying we opened their eyes to a new style of music. We're kinda like Fisher Price: My First Punk Band"
"There is nothing more awkward and laughable as a naked dude with his dick flopping"
"We've done the same thing we were doing in the beginning and we never wanted our band to stay small. I mean we want our band to be as big as it can, I'm not going to die thinking about some kid calling us a sellout at a show. I don't have a problem about being on MTV or being on the radio, I actually like it. So There, and anyone that calls me a sell out is just jealous"
"I think sex is a race to orgasm... and I'm undefeated"
"Never let anyone tell you how to live your life"
"I don't like wine. I like mixed drinks. I don't even like beer. Beer is for men, cocktails are for gentlemen"
"Look at me, Look at me, I need the attention, oooh I'm punk rock, I got some tattoos, I got some piercings, if I'm going to get some piercings then I want everyone to see it, I don't need to advertise my punkness. A real punk doesn't need to show off, it's like the Karate man, the kararte man bleed on the inside. A real punk is a punk on the inside"
"I don't give up until a woman is completly satisfied. I won't quite, I'm like the termanator in bed. If I can't get the job done then I just look at her and say "I'll Be back", then I'll walk off, refeul, cruise back in and finish the job".
"Alright if I had to sleep with one man it would be Harison Ford alright!."
"This is Travis's sweat because we fucked in the butt. Travis fucked me in the butt and I sweated so much that I came."
"I would go to the wall for my band and my friends and that's just how I am. Its all about commitment, perseverance and additude."
"I see my job in the band is basiclly on stage to be the village idiot, to act like a total jackass and make a total fool of myself whenever possible."
"Make yourself do something stupid so when you really do something stupid you won't feel so bad."
"I think that the whole Y2K thing will be a that people will sit in their cars and watch ther speedometers go down to 10,000 and they'll be like oh, but I'll still be ugly and have no friends."
"People call me the Porkypine because I'm the porkypine of all the fellas. I go clubin' every night and I don't give a fuck cuz I'm the porkypine, club boy, clubbin' every single night, New York, L.A, London...... Tokyo, everywhere."
"You know what sucks about what I'm wearing.? Absolutly NOTHING."
"People People People, wheres the love in this world? Cuz your all my brothers and sisiters we all love with one heart, so why won't some girl suck my cock.".
"Uh... I had a little problem with my hand and the inside of my thigh. I was getting a little hot and bothered so I thought, ya know, sometimes people like to be spanked like... ahh... whatever."
"13 miles down the road theres a young boy. He's got jet black hair and blue green eyes and he's mine. Every now and then he and I would sit together on the porch and I'd take off his pants and I'd fuck him from behind. And I love him for his heart and soul and I love his wrinkled scrotum too. So if you see us passing by a rainy day take a look at the young boy and his naked... asshole." - 13 miles (Mark's Song)
"Alright... uh... Tom you gonna sing a little intro to this next one? Hey Tom. Tom! You can get his number later... lets play the song."
"This one goes out to all our fans. To all the punk rock kids who've been into our band. If you only know us from this one song here's news for you we've been around six years long... so fuck you!"
"Shut your fuckin face uncle fucker!"
"This song's about me cuz I don't get chicks!"
"OH MY GOD!! They killed Kenny!!"
"I am not a star. We are all just dorks in a band."
"If at first you don't succeed, pay someone else to do it."
"We play poopy poopy punk-like stuff"
"If you want to be famous, say a lot of poop and weiner jokes--it got me where I am!"
"We wanted everyone's genuine reaction to 3 ugly, fat, white guys running down the street...well, 2 ugly fat white guys and Travis..." (talking about the video for 'What's My Age Again?')
"When I get drunk, I call my dad and say, "Dad, what are you wearing?"
"...what song did we just play...?"
"We reserve the right to make fun of every single person on planet Earth"
"Disney movies are f*ckin' bitchin'!"
TOM
"If I was at war in the jungles of China and had a burrito, I wouldn't care... a chinese burrito"
"High school is all about trying to get girls. That's all it is. And Girls make guys either super happy or totally insane. They like control the universe I think."
"It's cold, it's raining.....and this is the most boringest place on earth."
"We write songs about love, life friendship, food.....your mom."
"All the.....All the.....I will not gooo.....FUCK!"
"I can't live without mexican food."
"I'm in my own personal hell."
"Is this healthy? The rain, the cold, the Germany? The snot, the nose, the fever?"
"Fuck me, I'm losing respect for myself as an artist.....and as a lover."
"Go fuck your dad kids!"
"I wet myself at night when I'm asleep, just like everybody.....I spy on my dad when he's taking a shower just like everybody else in this world.....we're not just a joke band"
"Some people think we're idiots and perverts, which we are."
"I came up with a little formula, if you write songs about girls you get girls at show. We write a lot of songs about girls."
"We don't want to act like adults. Anybody who can stay in a state of adolescence will be much better off later on. Look at people who are working nine-to-five jobs out of college, and look at professional skateboarders or guys in punk bands. See who's having more fun."
"This type of music has a limited time span so we have to evolve and do the best we can now."
"Our take on punk is really just fun: it's fun to offend people and do what we want to. But it isn't that offensive. We make music for ourselves and everybody else who gets it. It's a lifestyle scene. If you don't get it you don't have to listen."
"This is a scene and the bands that have been in it a long time deserve the breaks. Doesn't mean they've changed. We haven't. We're still writing songs about girls."
"I study that stuff, man, UFOs ... I'll tell you that I think in the next year the US government is going to come out and admit that aliens have visited Earth. The reason I think that is that I listen to this radio show at home which deals with all this stuff."
"Masturbate A LOT!"
"No. I screw up when I'm dating because I fart"
"Huge fan of aliens, they exist, and they're in my butt"
"We've had stuff go wrong a lot. I remember one time in Australia , 7000 people, lights went out, I mean power went out - no sound, so we tapdanced!"
"One fan said he was there to kill us - it was scary (we had to kick him out) he was posessed or something (it was my dad - kidding)"
" I dont think I will be carving pumpkins for Halloween. If I did they would look retarded or really horny"
"We thought people might like the way we look naked..."
"You laugh at me because I'm diffrent but I laugh at you because you're all the same"
"I pray at night but I don't think God's happy about the words we say onstage."
"I'm probably the sexiest and the best in bed, even when I'm by myself. I love to masturbate and I love to give my self orgasms. I love to deliver orgasms to the masses."
"I'm the only one in the band that likes girls. I'm the only one that thinks babies should be made the old fashioned way... penis and vagina. These guys are trying to create some wierd... 'maybe the penis and the butt will make a kid' thing"
"I still can't believe I get payed for this"
"I'm not gay. A lot of people think I'm gay. I have a girlfriend and she thinks I'm gay too."
"I like a good desert now and then. I like hot fudge on a brownie with vanilla ice cream... smeared all over my nuts! My nuts taste better with fudge"
"I haven't grown up at all since I was a freshman in high school... and neither has my penis"
"At least that's what my mom said, I used to walk around the house naked sayin "I look great" and my mom would say "No you really don't. Put your clothes back on"
"Everyone in San Fransico drives so we are all fat and ugly."
"Please don't throw you're dirty toilet paper. I'm not hungary"
"It would be nice to have a blowjob"
"I model Enema bags"
"Humor has become so cliche and boring that nothing is funny anymore unless it's totally disgusting that offends someone and makes them feel really uncomfortable."
"I talked to our manager and he was like 'fuck that idea' and so I was like 'fuck you' and we fired the dirty old bastard."
"Like my hair? Take a photo."
"This one goes out to all our fans. To all the punk rock kids who've been into our band. If you only know us from this one song here's news for you we've been around six years long... and it hurts... really bad!"
"This song is about your girlfriend!"
"Whats.... the next song??"
"What I normally do before a show is I get my butt spackled, shaved, waxed, massaged, and buffed"
"Do I look feminine when I stand like this?"
"I met Christina Applegate this morning. I think she looked at my butt."
"Hopefully one day we won't mature."
TRAVIS
"I wanted to be a Pro Skater but I kept on hurting myself to the point where I couldn't even do it anymore..."
"We are just a silly little punk band."
"Who's beer is this?"
"I'm kinda sweaty why? - Wanna go do something?"
" Yes, he's getting married to Tom...no, really, he's getting married to Skye. An extremely nice lady."
"I want to go give kisses to Carson Daly"
"My favorite color would probably be black. I'm like a little hoodlum kid, I like black"
"People have broken into my house. People have followed me home after eating. I've got dogs and guns and cameras now."
"A sell out is someone who's gotten something in return for changing. We've never changed anything about our band, our style of music, our clothes, so calling us sell-outs is retarded."
"Pokeman is retarded - that I know about"
"No, no, no. I don't like ballet dancing. I am a fan of break dancing."
"Probably the main reason I don't talk a lot is there are a lot potty jokes going on and it's not that I don't find it funny, it's just not something I joke around about."
"If I were a condom I'd be too big."
"Everything is beautiful in this band, it's much easier than the nine peice I was in before"
"Uh, get a slurpee from 7-Eleven and maybe then go watch a movie."
"Aw, are you sayin' you've never dyed your hair? Mr. Purple hair like 2 months ago. (imitating Mark) I want a tattoo of a sailors ship from my wrist to my tittie!"
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